Monday, 30 May 2011

My Perfect Imperfections

A little while ago there was thing buzzing around youtube, (A tag, I think?) talking about 3 things that people liked and disliked about themselves. And basically it was so people with bad body images understood no one was perfect? So, it seemed like a lot of fun, so here are are :)

3 Things I dislikeMy cheeks- GAH. They're so ridiculously round and squishy, which doesn't help my face at all -.- Also, they turn red often, when I'm embaressed or warm, which makes them look even worse. Oh, and this makes my head seem EVEN LARGER than t already is. Babyface :3 I hate people squidging my cheeks, and the last time someone did that, I punched them. So, I REALLY, REALLY don't like it. My voice- Speaking, singing, laughing. ANYTHING. It sounds so bad; croaky, low, flat, so I can't sing. And my laugh is the stupidest thing you've ever heard. Literally "Haha *breath* haha *breath* haha *breath" I desperately hate my voice.

My legs- I've never really liked them. There's nothing majorly wrong with them; in fact my calves are pretty slim, but of course then there's my THUNDER THIGHS :D I just...dislike them. They get bruised easily, and I fall over, walk into things a lot. I have no muscle in them. If I poke it, it flops. It depresses me. OH, and I have such fat knees. I'm not even joking, my friends (Pippa especially) love to sit there poking them, squishing them and making them "talk". GAH.

But it's not all doom and gloom!
3 Things I Like
My hair- I love the colour of it: about every shade of blonde there is. It's quite shiney, although not all that soft, but I love my fringe, the slight natural waves, the way I've finally managed to get it to suit my face and I hardly ever have bad hair days :D I don't do much with my hair except brush it, but it looks nice curled, straightened, back-combed and crimped. Oh, and it is au natural.

My nose- YAY FOR MY NOSE. My mum, my dad and my brother all have large noses. really quite huge. But lucky old me got a lovely, lovely tiny, perfectly shaped, frekcle covered nose. Not ski-nose, not a roman nose, but a cute button nose, I think they're called? :L I like it. If it ever gets broken I will cry.

My complexion- I do really, really like my skin. I'm SO SO SO lucky I don't get spots or blemishes of any kind. The worst I've ever had, is three spots at one point, and they all cleared up within a week. When my face ISN'T red, it is a pretty good pale colour, which I like. Ooo, and it has freckles! I love my freckles. My arms and legs can't make up their mind whether to tan or not, but either way I'm fine with. So, I like my overall complexion. Aaaaaand I despise foundation. If any of bloggers use it, STOP. It disgusts me. Yeah, you look hot painting your face orange. URGH.

Anyhoo, that is all! I hate/love all these things, but simply without them I wouldn't be me. Cliche, I know...but meh. Sleep tight.

Sunday, 29 May 2011

The finer things in life

There are so many things we take for granted. Food, water, shelter...FINGERS. You don't realise how much you use them until you're fingers are dislocated by a basketball in Normandy, and they're taped together for several days. Yes, it happens. Grr. Anyway, I'm sure I had a point to make... Oh right! Well, in this day and age EVERYONE owns some kind of technology. Even my Granny, who is confused by remote controls, owns a laptop. This is hypocrytical seeing as I'm sat here, typing on my laptop, but I'm equally happy cycling with my dad, and talking to the barman. Walking in Wales along the beach. Playing football, wrestling, FIFA, Call of Duty with my brother. Chatting face to face with my friends. Gossiping with my hairdresser. Reading. Sunbathing. Personally, I believe those are the finer things in life. Things that don't cost a penny, that make me smile even more than I already do, and don't involve staring at some kind of screen.
I may be slightly biased in my opinion seeing as I have a dad who grew up in a large family and spent his childhood in his ridiculously large garden, burning down trees, nearly drowning in quicksand, tightroping across an empty swimming pool, making dens and tree houses, playing hide and seek, playing pranks on the other siblings and playing cards. That sounds far more fun, than sitting indoors comunicationg through technology. Wow, I sound like an old man, complainging in a armchair smoking a pipe... it could happen. Life is good. I would just prefer to spend more of it OUTSIDE, having different adventures everyday. I'm an old soul, I guess :L

Wednesday, 18 May 2011

Memories.

Memories are pretty much my favourite thing. They're priceless, don't weigh anything, no-one can steal them and they're YOURS. Your very own, right there in your head, casually swimming around. Is that what memories do? Swim? Or are they more like books, and you pick which one to read next? I personally prefer the swimming one. I have so many fantastic memories. From amazing holidays I've been lucky enough to go on to my everyday walking to school buddy. My halarious nerf herder to my brilliant dad. My year 8 english class chats to every single one of my skype conversations. So just to annoy all you readers, I'mma write a few down ;D
-Sitting in a Hotel room with my brother, in Florida, putting our tiny, keyring teddybears on a moving fan and watching them fly across the room. Sadly, I lost that bear that very holiday.
-My dad bursting into Monty Python sketches for me and my friends entertainment.
-Me and my dads' friday night movie. We no longer do this.
-Me and my dad going out for long bike rides, and sitting in pubsdrinking our blackcurrant and lemonade.
-The crazy chats me and Josh would have in 8EPL.
- Making a maze for my hamster out of ALL our DVD's, CD's, books and my brother warhammer. Brilliant.
- Every single conversation I've ever had with Pippa Higgins.
- Beth's dolphin.
- My amazing geography lessons with the one and only Nina Chen. We're high on life.
- Naming fish after random shops with Amber.
- Crying my eyes out with Pip at Forest Gump.
- Making Ellie, Louise and Ala laugh, everyday.
- Feeling like powerful year 9's when we STOP BULLYING. Seriously, we do.
- Beth randomly sitting up in bed and speaking Basque. Her giggling (more of a deep manly laugh actually) at Michael McIntyre, and replaying over and over and over "TOSS ME OFF!".
- Being chased around HMV by Pippa, who was yelling "BUY JEDWARD! BUY JEDWARD!" and waving a Planet Jedward CD in my face.
- Playing THE Game. Everyday, for one hour at lunch break for a whole year.
- Making up imaginary worlds with Georgia Radley.
- Having a massive shoe-hunt game at Fifth Road park.
- Saundersfoot. Walking with my Dad, Ben attacking me as soon as my parents are out of the house we rent, Ben making me guess the password so that I jam his iPod.
- Playing teddies with Ben. Playing FIFA with Ben and scoring too many own goals to count. Paying Nightfire with Ben, and being killed multiple times BY HIM.
- Getting scared of the zombies in Black Ops and running away, leaving Ben to die.
- My brilliant conversations I've had with Fiona Gorham.
- Getting 100% thrashed by Ben and James at football.
- Stonebridge reunions. Seeing my cool american Aunt, seeing my cool American cousins, all sitting in Granny's garden talking.
- Feeling all warm and fuzzy inside whenever I hear that little James still remembers me, and shouts "Millie! Millie!" if he see's a photo of me.
- Being pushed around in a wheelbarrow by my Grandpy.
- Watching Paranormal Activity for the first time with Ellie, and staying up for ages and chatting.
- Making my own little soap operas with my Bratz dolls.
THANK YOU TO ANYONE I'VE MENTIONED. You're all fantasmical. <333

Sunday, 15 May 2011

It doesn't add up

I have a lot going on in my life, I reckon.Well, an average amount for an average 13 year old girl. I have good friends, a great brother, brilliant memories. But how is it as soon as I'm left on my own, I feel so crazily alone? That I feel so stupid for thinking people actually like me? As soon as I have time to think, my mind goes crazy and there's nothing good about me at all. I have friends; brilliant, lovely friends, but I feel so unwanted by them. They don't understand how insecure I am, how I need things, people to make me feel better. I hate feeling like this. But I feel I'm here to past time...people like me...but ARGH. I don't know. Ramble ramble ramble. Sorry readers. I DO like my life, I LOVE my friends, but something is missing! A couple of weeks ago, I thought my life was perfect, but now I'm back to days of wishing, hoping and living in a dreamland. Dreamland is nice...but its fake. It makes everything worse, knowing things I can't have or find or get or have lost. I have no idea what I'm talking about. Things will get better though...they always do in the end.

Thursday, 5 May 2011

I'm no superman....

These past few days have been pretty bad. Sorry, I KNOW you don't want to hear about sad, pathetic life, but hey, you decided to read so this, so blame yourself. Believe me, I'm not a negative person. I do honestly try and be happy everyday and get the most out of life, but...people are always expecting things of me. They want me to be happy, and if I'm not then there's no point in talking to me. If I'm sad then I'm useless. Unless I'm cheering someone up, I have no purpose in life apparantly. I HATE when people assume they know me, or know how I'm feeling. Because they don't. No one cares about hurting MY feelings, because I'm not really here. I'm just here to make a few jokes, give a few hugs, then get shunted. There's always someone better than me, and I'm not saying I want to be worshipped and followed around by Merry Men, I just want people to understand that if I'm not happy then it's usually for a reason. But instead I'm ignored, pushed, invisible, forced to make conversation and if I don't meet expectations then left well alone. Everyones so blunt with me. I feel constantly in the wrong; I'm told by everyone what I did wrong, how they would'nt have done, how stupid it was of me, laughed at, then pushed away leaving me feeling like a small child. I try so hard to keep myself and my friends happy, I try so hard to be civil with my family, I try so hard, but it seems I'm barely worth anything to most people.
(8) Ohh, I can't do this all on my own. No, I know, that I'm no superman.